


Why James is Getting an Ulcer or How Q is Settling In

by LadyRa



Series: The Love Affair of Willoughby Holmes and James Bond [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Past fling of James Bond/Eve Moneypenny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRa/pseuds/LadyRa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James takes Willoughby out for dinner with Alec and Eve and things don't go as well as they could.</p><p> </p><p>  <img/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Why James is Getting an Ulcer or How Q is Settling In

**Author's Note:**

> Speaking of betas, thanks to: Annie B, Susan H, and Ruth for Brit-picking. I chose to stick with American spelling, though, so that's on me.

**Chapter 1: James and Willoughby and Alec and Eve**

Dinner had been going so well.  

Not as well as their first dinner, of course, because that had just been the two of them with James pulling out all the stops, using every trick he knew to make Willoughby feel special--and James had quite the repertoire.  The entire night Willoughby had stared at him with stars in his eyes making James feel like he was ten feet tall.  How Willoughby could make him giddy and hopeful, and so in love, things he'd rarely experienced in his life, was beyond him.

The kissing had been sublime, Willoughby making those wonderful gaspy sorts of noises, like everything James did and every touch he made was a startlingly new and wonderful experience.  It all made it a Herculean effort to actually get up and leave, made harder by the fact that Willoughby would have let him have his way with him, given James leave to ravish him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, but it was too soon.  And as hard as his dick was, and as blue as his balls would be, the smile on Willoughby's face when James kissed him good night made it all worth it.  

Now, three nights later, James was having dinner with Willoughby, along with Alec and Eve, eager to share his friends and add a touch more of 'normal' to Willoughby's life.  

Alec had been his gracious self, already predisposed to like Willoughby as he'd saved Alec's life, twice already.

Eve had looked particularly gorgeous, kissing Willoughby on the cheek, making him blush, as they all settled around the table.  Beverages and their food had been ordered and, overtly, Willoughby was holding his own, only the fingers digging into James' thigh told of his nervousness.  

James leaned in and said, "You're doing fine.  Relax."

"Really?" Willoughby said anxiously.  "I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

"What sort of thing is that?" Alec said, having overheard.

"Um," Willoughby said, fingers tightening more until James was afraid he might poke holes in the fabric of his trousers.  "I don't get out much," he finally admitted with a small smile.

"Too busy saving lives," Alec said graciously.

"And taking them," Eve said, a little less graciously, but she had a mischievous grin on her lips.

That got Willoughby's dander up, and he sat up a little straighter and replied, "Not indiscriminately."

"Besides," Alec said gallantly, "he's only avenging his lady love."  He gestured at James.

James rolled his eyes.

Willoughby's blush was highlighted by candlelight and all James wanted to do was kiss him senseless.  He dug Willoughby's claws out of his thigh and laced their fingers together.  "He's the new Q, Eve," he said sharply.  "He's got M's backing."

"Hmm," Eve said dubiously.  
  
James was beginning to think this dinner was a mistake.  Or at least including Eve was a mistake.  He wasn't sure Willoughby was prepared for her vicious sort of teasing.  

As if to prove his point, she smirked at Willoughby, leaned in toward him, and asked, "Don't you love it when he does that thing with his tongue?"

"I beg your pardon?" Willoughby said stiffly.

"Eve," James said sharply.

"That thing," she said again, ignoring James, wiggling her eyebrows.  "That James does with his tongue."  She closed her teeth over the tip of her tongue before taking a sip of her drink.

Willoughby looked at James, stricken.  Then he turned to Eve and then back to James.  "Oh," he said faintly.  "You two, um, I see."  

"No," James said, "You don't see."  And he glowered ferociously at Eve, knowing it would have little effect.  Eve loved nothing more than to knock men off their stride.

"Why would you…" Willoughby swallowed and attempted to withdraw his hand from James'.  "I didn't know…I suppose I should have," he said in a rush with a small pained laugh.  He licked his lips nervously.

"Don't," James said to him, hanging onto Willoughby's hand tightly.  "She's just being catty."

"But honest," Willoughby said.  "Right?  You and her?"

James wanted to say no with everything in him, wanted to say it had just been fucking, a moment of tension relief that meant nothing, which was all very true, but he just stared at Willoughby, rendered temporarily mute.  The tension at the table rose like a tornado.

Willoughby whispered at James, "Why would you bring me…why…I don't, um…oh, God."  He lowered his lashes and looked at the table, not making eye contact with anyone.

"So," Alec said, with mock enthusiasm.  But then he stopped, as if unsure what topic was safe to move onto.    

James waited for Alec to break the tension, his own mind racing furiously as to how to strip that look from Willoughby's face, like James had fucked Eve on the table right in front of him.  He was too much of a gentleman to say what he was thought about the sex he'd had with Eve or how little he'd thought about the sex he'd had with Eve, with her right there, although he was seriously considering killing her.

Willoughby yanked his hand free and stood.  "I'll…" he looked like he was desperately searching for a reason to explain him having to leave that wasn't that his heart had just been ripped out of his chest.  

"Yeah, no," James said, finally getting his arse in gear, as he stood too, grabbing Willoughby's arm, not planning on letting him get any further away.  And not just for obvious reasons.  Willoughby would probably call one of his brothers to come and get him, and James would never see the light of day again.  "Come with me."

He started to walk Willoughby away but not fast enough to miss Alec hissing at Eve.  

"What the fuck, Eve?"

"I was just having a little fun.  Don't get so bent out of shape.  Look at him, he's a child.  He needs to toughen up if he's going to hang out with the likes of James Bond." 

James didn't hear what got said after that, thank God.  He pulled Willoughby behind him, through the restaurant, through the kitchen, and out the back door.  Then he put Willoughby against the wall, holding him by his shoulders. "Do not, please, do not let that mean anything."

"How many people will I end up meeting at MI6 that you've had sex with?" Willoughby asked, panicked.  "I can't do this.  Why did I think I could do this?"

James was starting to panic in response.  "Yes, you can.  We can.  And it was just sex.  That's it.  It didn't mean anything.  Surely you can understand that.  I didn't even know you."

"I haven't ever _just_ done anything in my entire life.  It's all of me, or it's none of me.  Why would you even bring me here?  With her."  His eyes were wet with unhappiness.

James wanted to start the evening over and never leave the house.  He wanted to just hit a fucking rewind button.  "We give each other shit all the time," James assured him.  "She was being an arse.  She'll feel terrible about this later, I promise."  And if she didn't, she'd feel worse.

"You haven't even slept with me," Willoughby said in a sad whisper.  "At least I see why, now.  She's so beautiful. I can't even hope--"

"Stop that nonsense right now," James said.  "It's because it means something that I haven't slept with you.  It means something to me.  It matters.  You matter."  He cupped Willoughby's face in his hands.  "Please, believe me."  James frantically watched Willoughby's face, trying to see if his words were helping.

"Perhaps," Willoughby finally said stiffly, although his wet eyes were belying his stiff upper lip demeanor, "we might do best as friends.  I don't know why I didn't think about this before.  You have so much sex all the time, on missions and, well, on missions, and I don't think I can be professional about that.  At all.  I don't know how not to want all of you."  His voice had gotten shaky and he cleared his throat.  "Look at me," he said.  "I'm a disaster because one of your friends teased me."

"Listen," James said, kissing Willoughby lightly, ignoring the tightness of his lips.  "I'm a clever man and the best agent MI6 has, and I can find ways to get information that don't include me having sex.  I can do that.  I'd be happy to do that.  I just do it now, or did it, because it was easy and fun and I didn't have anything better waiting for me at home.  I can be faithful, Willoughby.  I have been before.  I never cheated on my wife.  Never."

James watched Willoughby carefully, hoping that maybe he was getting his point across and that at least Willoughby was willing to listen and not just end the best thing that had ever happened to James before it had really even started.

"And the next time someone says something like that to you, and they will, because people are arseholes, you just tell them that you're not sure what they're talking about," and James ran his thumbs over Willoughby's cheeks from where he still cradled his face, "but what you love best is when I cup your face like this and tell you that I love you.  And when your brother gets his legislation passed and I put a ring on your finger, you can flash that in their face and say that your favorite part was when I asked you to marry me.  Trust me, no one still living has ever heard any of that from me."

There was a gasp from the door beside them, and James looked over to see Alec and Eve standing there.  Eve had a hand over her mouth and her eyes were very wide.  

"What do you want?" James snarled at her.

"You really feel that way about him?" she asked.  "He isn't just another pretty face to you?"

Not caring that he was coming across like a love-struck teenager, figuring they'd find out the truth sooner or later, he turned back to Willoughby and said, "He means everything to me."  He let out a silent sigh of relief when he saw that the stars were back in Willoughby's eyes.

Willoughby was yanked away from him by Eve who hugged him tightly.  "I'm so sorry, Willoughby, I never would have said that if I'd known he was crazy about you.  I thought you were just joining the ranks of those who've been fucked by the best."  She grinned at him.

Alec said, "Hey!  I resent that remark."

"Take me home big boy," Eve said to him, "and give me a chance to compare."  Then she turned her attention back to Willoughby.  "See?  We're all sluts."  She shrugged.  "I didn't know James was turning over a new leaf."

"We've never even had sex yet," Willoughby said plaintively.  "He won't sleep with me."

Both Alec's and Eve's eyebrows went up at that.  "Oh, my God, he really does love you," Eve finally said.

"I don't understand that part," Willoughby said.  "Explain it to me."

She kindly patted his face.  "It means it's important.  It's not just a reflex, like scratching an itch.  It means he's building something with you, and it takes time to get it right."

James decided he might not kill her after all.  He glanced at Alec to see his friend's eyes were studying him.  He couldn't quite decipher the expression he was seeing.

Eve put her arm through Willoughby's and tugged him back inside.  "Just say you'll forgive me, and I'll be your best friend forever, okay?"

"Okay," Willoughby said dubiously and he looked over his shoulder to make sure James was following.

James was, but then Alec stopped him.  "You know it'll make you both vulnerable.  It'll make him a target.  And you a target for him, once it's out that he's Q and he's yours."

"I know," James said.  "I know that.  But I won't hide this.  He's worth more than that."

Alec studied him for a moment longer.  "All right.  I'll help any way I can."

James smiled at him.  "I know you will."

Alec patted him on the back.  "Go rescue your better half.  God only knows what nonsense Eve is telling him."

"Oh, Jesus," James said, moving quickly back through the kitchen, smiling apologies to the staff, until he was back at the table.  Eve had switched James' and Willoughby's seats so she was on Willoughby's left with James now on his right.  They were talking, thick as thieves, Willoughby's hand clasped in hers, with Willoughby looking a tad overwhelmed.  

And that was, of course, when Sherlock appeared.  "Why is she holding your hand?" he asked suspiciously, then, with a hand up as if to forestall comment, he added, "No wait." 

Willoughby watched him raptly.  "He's very good at this," he told the table at large, as if disaster wasn't looming.

James gaped at Willoughby.

Sherlock preened for a moment and then stated, "She's apologizing.  Why is she apologizing?"  Willoughby opened his mouth, but Sherlock waved him off.  "Ah," Sherlock said, eyes bright and wandering all over Eve.  "She thought she had a leg up as she'd had sex with your intended and hoped to lord it over you."  He frowned at her.  "Sex against a wall?  Apparently you didn't even merit a trip to the bed and," he said victoriously, with a quick amused look at James, "he didn't invite you to stay."

"How did--" Eve started.  "It was hot," Eve tried again, spluttering.

"Really?" Willoughby said, staring at James.  "Against the wall?"  

James covered his face with his hands, just for a second.  His life.  What had happened to it?

Alec started laughing.

"If I might offer you a bit of advice, Miss Moneypenny," Sherlock said.  "Willoughby skewered me with chopsticks over a dog.  If you are having thoughts about getting a leg over, as John would say, you might find yourself skewered with air-to-surface strike missiles.  Willoughby, a word."

And that was when John Watson arrived and took in the shell-shocked and amused faces and said, "Good Lord, Sherlock.  You were only here for thirty seconds, what on earth did you say?"

"She was taunting Willoughby with her sexual past with Bond," Sherlock protested as if John was totally in the wrong for even daring to suspect him of being a troublemaker.

"Really?" John said, giving Eve a stern look.  "That's a bit not good."

"I didn't know it was serious," she complained.  "I've apologized and we're best friends now."

John sent her a relieved smile.  "So, all's well that ends well, right, Sherlock?"

"Hmm," was all Sherlock had to say.  "Willoughby?"  
  
"Excuse me," Willoughby said, with a quick beaming smile at James.  James could only smile back.  Willoughby's smiles were too enticing not to respond in equal measure.

Silence reigned around the table until Willoughby was outside the restaurant with Sherlock and John. 

"What the fuck?" Alec said.  "Who was that?"

"And _how_ did he know all that?" Eve added. 

"That," James said, "was Sherlock Holmes, Willoughby's brother.  And he's not even the scary one."

"What?" Eve squeaked.  "There're more like that?"

"Don't let Willoughby's innocence fool you," James said.  "He's from crazy stock.  Seriously crazy."

"I can see that," Eve said.  "It's like I want to hug him, and then have my evil way with him."  She cackled a little.  "I might try to steal him from you."

"Try and die," James said with a killer's grin.  

"Who's the shorter man?" Eve said, with an interested eye.  "He's sort of cute."

"Dr. John Watson and so unavailable," James told her.  "Really, if you value your life, let alone mine, don't even think about it.  Meanwhile, I'm going to retrieve Willoughby from his brother's clutches before he gets conscripted into some unholy war.  I'll be right back."  With that he slid off his chair and headed for the front door.

* * *

"That was all very interesting," Eve said, watching as James joined the three men out front.  Willoughby instantly attached himself to James, and James seemed to be very happy about it, sliding an arm around Willoughby's shoulder and pulling him in for a quick kiss.  "Is that for real?"

Alec was silent long enough for Eve to take her gaze off the show out front to look at the other agent.  Her eyebrows went up in invitation for him to speak.  "What is it?"

"I hope James won't kill me for saying this, but did you know he was married?"

Eve was momentarily shocked.  _That_ hadn't been in his file.  "He was?"

"And he almost retired a few years back when he fell in love with someone else."  

"Married?" Eve said again, still not done with being astonished at that fact.  Falling in love was one thing.  But settling down?  Despite James' words to Willoughby, no double-0 ever settled down.  It was against their nature.  They were all chosen very carefully to make sure that they preferred to be loners.  "How long ago?"

"It was a while."

"Before he was a double-0?"

Alec shook his head.  

This time she goggled at him.  It was like everything she knew about James and about double-0s had just been turned on its head.  "Please don't tell me you're hiding a wife and kids?"

"No," Alec said with a smirk.  "I'm not interested.  I like being a lone-wolf, and I like the life it affords me.  And I'd just as soon go down in the traces rather than grow old with someone until I'm of no use to anyone."  

"Five minutes ago, even with this new infatuation of his, I would have said the same thing about James Bond," Eve said.  "In fact, I would have put him at the front of the class in that respect."

Alec let out a soft laugh.  "I've known him a very long time.  I knew his wife, met her a few times before they got married.  She was lovely.  I didn't have a chance to meet the other one, which I'm just as glad about given how things worked out."  He leaned forward, an eye cautiously on the four men out front, as if concerned James might come back in and overhear.  

Eve eagerly leaned in, riddled with curiosity.

"Somehow, and I don't know how, because I've watched him take on the hardest missions and get beaten up and betrayed and almost killed a dozen times over, but somehow, through it all, he never lost the belief that you can find someone to be happy with.  He wants that.  He's always wanted it."

For a very brief second, Eve wondered why it hadn't been her.  If there had been a chance and she'd missed it, sure that whatever they'd had at the time was nothing but a fling.  But, just as quickly, she let it go.  It hadn't been there on either side.  She would have sworn on a bible that James would never feel like that about anyone at all.  He could be the meanest and most ruthless son of a bitch she'd ever met, all hidden behind a frighteningly polite veneer.  "Huh," she said, leaning back.  

His face grew suddenly fierce.  "Don't fuck it up for them, Eve.  I mean it.  And I'm not saying you would, but if there's a chance he can have it, I want him to.  And I'll do anything I can to keep them both alive, because--"

"Because they'll both be targets," she said, realizing it was true.

Alec nodded.  "James knows it.  And if it was someone other than Willoughby, he might consider leaving MI6, but seeing as he's going to end up being Q, and a Q we desperately need, James really can't walk away."

"Does he deserve James?" Eve asked skeptically.  "I admit he's charming, but it just doesn't seem possible that someone that young and innocent could possibly know what he's getting into."

"Go and watch him work.  He's extraordinary."

"You're a bit smitten yourself, Mr. Trevelyan," she teased.

Alec just smiled a little and took a bite of his bread roll.

She turned and stared at Willoughby, trying to see what was so captivating about him.  In some ways, he seemed like some vapid blond, some innocent sweet thing all a twitter to have a double-0 agent to be seen with.  His feelings had been hurt so easily.  On the other hand, James might like to bed pretty women with no brains, but he never spent out-of-bed time with them, and neither did Alec.  Neither of them suffered fools gladly.

"Don't you think Q branch will eat him alive?" she added, thinking out loud.  "Once people see James is interested in him, it will be like chumming the water for sharks."

"I'm not saying they'll have it easy," Alec said.  "What I am saying is that if you want James for a friend, don't make it harder."

She put her hands up.  "I've got the message loud and clear.  Now pass the damn bread."

James, with Willoughby, joined them a couple minutes later, with the other two men in tow.  "Sorry," James said, "but we have to leave.  I'll get our meals to go."  

He pulled out his credit card but Alec waved it off.  "Put that away."  He glanced at all four men and then asked, "What's going on?"

"They need him to work on a case, and I'm going along to make sure he doesn't end Western Civilization as we know it," James said with a grin at Willoughby.

Willoughby looked offended, but it only lasted a second before he was staring adoringly at James again.

Eve rolled her eyes.  They were disgustingly cute.  "Willoughby," she called.

Willoughby moved next to her, although he kept one eye on James, whether to make sure James didn't run off with someone, or to make sure he was close enough to rescue Willoughby if the need arose, Eve wasn't sure.  "Do you forgive me for teasing you?" she asked, wanting to be sure.

The young man gazed at her, at James, back at her and finally said, quite seriously.  "Yes, I've forgiven you for teasing me.  I haven’t forgiven you, however, for sleeping with him, and I might have to hate you for quite a while about that.  Maybe forever.  I'll try not to let it affect our friendship."

Eve bit her lips to keep from laughing.  She really did want a friendship with this waif if for no other reason than to keep her friendship with James alive and well.  "Only if you're okay if I hate you for the fact that he's in love with you and not me.  I'm quite jealous you get to keep him."  She was a little, in that little Disney Princess part of her that believed in happy endings and thought she should end up with the most handsome and brave knight of the land.  The larger part of her knew she and James, even if they had attempted a relationship, would have ended up killing each other.  For real this time.

Willoughby looked quite pleased at her declaration.  "I find that agreeable."  He put out his hand to shake with hers.  "To our mutual hate pact."

Unable to avoid laughing this time, she shook his hand.  "To our mutual hate pact," she agreed.  "And I'll want details when he does finally take you to bed.  I'll have to live vicariously through you."

His blush was adorable and he stammered at her, gazing imploringly at James to come save him.

James, ever alert, was there in an instant, arm sliding around Willoughby's waist.  "Okay?"

"She wants details," Willoughby squeaked to him in a loud whisper.  "Of when we…you know."

Now James was biting his lips, his dancing eyes meeting Eve's, apparently willing to let this teasing stand.  "Well, she might learn something."

Willoughby grinned as Eve huffed in outrage at that.

"Because I have no doubt at all," James said, talking right over her indignant stuttering, "that you will be as superb at that as you are at everything else."

The wattage on the smile on Willoughby's face was blinding, and Eve surrendered into a laugh.

"Can we go?" Sherlock said loudly and impatiently, suddenly looming.  "Good God, it's like extracting the prime minister from a session at Parliament."

"Right, sorry," Willoughby said, all business again.  "I'm sorry I have to leave," he added to Eve and Alec, quite sincerely, "I might quite enjoy myself now that I'm not so nervous."

Now Alec was laughing, but it was a kind laugh.  "I'm sorry, too," he told Willoughby.  "I expect I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Lovely," Willoughby said.

"Now!" Sherlock snapped.

Willoughby grabbed James' arm and tugged him along.  "Come on, come on, there's a crime to solve!"

Sherlock smiled with glee and ushered them out, John rolling his eyes behind them all.

"Well," Eve said.  "I suspect MI6 will be a little livelier now."

"And James' life a lot more complicated," Alec agreed.  Then he frowned.  "He was kidding about Willoughby possibly ending Western Civilization as we know it, wasn't he?"

"You know what, Alec?" Eve asked, raising her glass and encouraging him to do the same. She clinked hers against his and said with a laugh, "I have absolutely no idea."

They took a long swig, grinned, and went back to their dinners.

**The End**


End file.
